Can you date your best friend’s ex?
You are in a very delicate situation: you had a big crush on the ex-boyfriend of a friend and you do not know if you are “authorized” (by the moral and by the friend in question) to give in to his advances.
It is important to think carefully before acting, because otherwise you could lose everything all at once, without understanding what is happening to you. You must therefore first analyze your specific expectations regarding the gentleman.
If you are in love or think that he is the man of your life, then the situation is further complicated. Especially if he has the same feelings as you, which you need to make sure of before going any further.
If he is only looking for a physical relationship, then you will lose everything: love and friendship. Hence the importance of deciphering one’s expectations. If on your side, the attraction is only sexual, then you will lose everything too.
Even being discreet, everything is known. And some women will find it even more odious to have been disloyal to their friend only to satisfy primary desires, in a way …
How to approach the situation?
But this “friend”, the one you are about to seduce the ex, how are you related to her? Is this your best friend? From a work or leisure friend? From a friend of a friend? Of a girlfriend you see occasionally?
Of course, the closer you are to it, the more complicated it will be. If it is a friend of a friend to whom you are not close, it can also quickly turn sour and put you against your whole group of girlfriends … So be careful.
If the relationship that you want to live, in a reciprocal way, with this man, involves a distant “friend”, that you see very punctually, that you can do without or that is not linked to your social daily life, then no hesitation.
On the other hand, if this person is close to you, geographically, in everyday life, or in your heart, then it is necessary to weigh the “pros” and “cons” of the situation. The consequences can indeed become harmful in some cases.
How to discuss the subject with this friend?
So the basic question you need to ask yourself is: should I tell my friend how I feel? If this relationship is intended to become serious, the answer is yes.
We advise you to test the ground. Discuss with your friend an identical scenario, without getting involved, and observe her reaction. If it is extreme, then we will have to play finely.
If it is a man with whom she has had an affair and for whom she has never felt anything, then it will be easy to talk about it. It’s up to you to present the situation by being delicate and convincing, and by insisting on the fact that in your relationship the feelings are strong and real.
If the case is the same but this man was not necessarily a “gentleman” with her, then take care of her susceptibility because it is possible that her ego has taken a hit . And she shouldn’t be pointing.
If this man passed quickly in his life but that he counted, if she had a long relationship with him, if she is still in love with him, if she still blames him for past facts … then you will have to choosing between love and friendship is inevitable.
How to make a choice ?
It would be unhealthy to find yourself in a triangular relationship . It is an unjust sacrifice but life is made that way. To choose, you have to think selfishly and listen to your heart.
These are the questions you will need to ask yourself: Who can I trust the most? Who brings me or will bring me the most? Who is most important in my life? Which is for me a source of balance? Will I miss love or friendship?
You should know that whatever your choice, you will experience sadness and frustration, and that these can be a source of final break with the chosen person. It’s a bit of a perverse effect.
It’s up to you to make the best possible choice, and above all to assume it. In rare cases, the friend in question can be understanding, because she is balanced in her life, in her couple …
Love and friendship are two very strong feelings, hence the complexity of the situation. Make your decision and don’t regret anything. Do not think you are immoral or bad. Don’t feel guilty either. only make the best choice for you.